


but I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

by revoleotion



Series: Whumptober 2020 [2]
Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Chronic Fatigue, Chronic Illness, Exhaustion, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27210544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion
Summary: “I’m tired,” Misono repeats. He wishes Lily were here. But if Lily were here, the exhaustion wouldn’t settle into his bones like this, if Lily were here, he’d feel like he could make it until nine. Or ten.But Lily isn’t here, this is an Eves-only meeting, so he has nobody to look at while his body gives up on him.
Relationships: Arisuin Misono & Shirota Mahiru, background Lawlicht
Series: Whumptober 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986532
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19
Collections: Everything, Servamp





	but I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheGoldenGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoldenGirl/gifts).



> I didn't have a specific time in mind for this but it may be set somewhere after volume 4 but after Licht was added to the squad. Go figure.

“I’m tired,” Misono says. It’s practiced, and it sounds like it. In his ears it’s the echo of something he has repeated over and over again until it finally lost all meaning. 

But in reality it’s the first time he says it and the impact is a lot more real than just an echo inside his own head. It makes heads turn, he even gets a slight eyebrow raise from his brother. 

“It’s not even nine yet,” Mikuni says after exchanging a look with Mahiru that Misono wishes he didn’t see. Because now he has to deal with this. They’ve been in this cafe for about two hours now, he could probably ask Mahiru for the actual time because he offered to keep track of it. Realistically, things should be fine, he should be able to focus for a bit longer. And yet… 

“I’m tired,” Misono repeats. He wishes Lily were here. But if Lily were here, the exhaustion wouldn’t settle into his bones like this, if Lily were here, he’d feel like he could make it until nine. Or ten. 

But Lily isn’t here, this is an Eves-only meeting, so he has nobody to look at while his body gives up on him. 

“We can take a break?” Mahiru offers after a few minutes. Misono feels a small glow of affection in his chest when he sees the awkward expression on the boy’s face. There’s much to say about Mahiru but he’s trying. 

“Break?” Licht says. He hasn’t said much during the meeting but Misono could tell he was paying attention. At least he has been taking notes. “Alright, I’m going to call Hyde and read him the list of insults I came up with.”

So much for paying attention. 

Misono watches Licht walk out of the room and winces when he hears the pianist’s usually monotone voice jump up and down while he introduces his Servamp to all the new things he came up with. It’s their love language, alright, but it’s not a language Misono wants to learn. 

“I don’t really know what to do now,” Mahiru admits. That’s a first, Misono’s tired brain supplies and he is glad that he can stop himself before he accidentally says it. 

“You don’t have to do anything,” he replies, the response almost automatic. “I’m going to lay down for a while and then we can continue.”

At least he didn’t faint, which Misono considers a success. But he’s not going to tell the others. The bar isn’t that low, not officially. 

“You can put your head into my lap if you want, maybe that’s better than just the bench?” Mahiru suggests when Misono tries to make himself comfortable. 

“What?” he asks. He doesn’t want to be rude, it’s just that he has no script for this, no reply he can lean on. Nobody ever asked him to do this, nobody that isn’t Lily. And Lily isn’t here. 

“If you want to?” Mahiru asks back, a little quieter. Insecure, Misono thinks, which is odd because he hasn’t seen this side of Mahiru all too often. It’s growing on him, definitely. He smiles to himself, and at the back of his head he thinks that he needs to tell Lily about this, he needs to make sure someone can treasure this memory in case it escapes his mind. Sure, Lily isn’t doing this anymore but Misono has grown suspicious of his own memory. 

“Sure,” he tells Mahiru. 

It’s not weird, isn’t it? It’s not supposed to be. He shuffles around in the booth they’ve been occupying all afternoon, until he’s somewhat comfortable. He does his best not to think about how close to Mahiru he is, this may be the closest he’s ever been to anyone but Lily outside a battle-related context. It’s nice, he decides, to look up into Mahiru’s face while Mahiru argues with Mikuni about whatever subject they found to argue about. 

Misono wishes he could listen to them, be a part of this, but he’s tired and he should take the break Mahiru offered him. He closes his eyes and allows the voices around him to sing him to sleep. 

But then he wakes up and he’s still tired. It’s darker now, of course, night comes early here. Mahiru is stroking his hair but stops immediately when he realizes Misono is awake. He’s too dizzy to wonder how long Mahiru has been doing this for. 

“Lily?” Misono asks, even though his brain tries to tell him that there is no Lily, that Lily will pick him up later and that he should be able to just last for five hours. He promised his father that he was ready, and all he does now is proving that he was, in fact, not ready. Perhaps he will never be ready, perhaps his family never was the problem. 

Maybe he is the problem. 

“We called him, it’s all good. He’ll be there soon,” Mahiru’s voice says. 

“Can you put your hand back?” Misono asks him. 

He will never talk about this once the moment is over. He will not tell Lily about this. And he’s praying to whatever God his brother believes in that Mikuni won’t tell him either. This is something he wants to have for himself, a stupid little feeling he needs to make sense of before he trusts anyone else with it. 

Misono closes his eyes again and leans into the touch of someone he wants to trust because he wants to believe that having friends is possible. Mahiru ruffles his hair a little before he continues combing through it like he has never done anything else in his life. 

It’s nice, Misono thinks. Definitely worth running away from home for. 


End file.
